2012/2013

Realised I've made very few posts over the past few couple of years... Well, with facebook and twitter, I don't think people do blog often as frequent as it started?

-----------------
2012 in review

- Change to a new job appointment
With the reorganization of my prev organisation, coupled with the desire and need to move on to experience a new job scope, I moved to my current appointment in Feb this year.  Well, so far so good.  Good boss and good colleagues, plus good mentors to learn from.  Will be some time before I move on again I guess

- Wedding
How can this don't come up right? Been spending a number of months looking for hotels, choosing photos, choosing the gown etc etc in the lead up to the day.  Though ended up as predicted (and pre-empted countless times) by my wife that I would leave all the planning to the last min, I still think it was a good show. (Well.. given that I managed to send on the program 10pm the night before, and finish writing the "thank you" script 2 hours before the dinner)

- Honeymoon
Something my wife and myself was looking very much toward to.  First time I've actually travelled so far so long.  Spent a bomb too.  Haha.  Well, probably don't have chance to experience a trip like it for quite some time.  Local tour? Checked.  Self drive? Checked.  Thank XD and LJ for contributing part of the trip as their wedding gift for me too.

-----------------
Forward to 2013

- New Flat
Yes, my flat should be arriving in 3rd Quarter 2013.  Can look forward to quite a fair bit of time (and lots of "discussions" with my wife) to source for the desired reno and furnishing.  Well... I'll apply the 3 principles of procurement even in my personal life.

- Exercise
Given that I am outgrowing my clothes (including the pants I tailored made for my wedding), I think I need to action.  Lets not be too ambitious, can I target just once per week? (Given that my body aches for 4 days after a session of volleyball these days...)

- Upgrade
I spent my 2010 and 2011 completing my part time masters. But what did I achieve in 2012? Nothing in terms of personal upgrading.  2013 shall be a fresh start and lets look forward to achieving something out of office. I'll start by (re)learning malay!

Married Life

Yes I'm married for almost a month.  Been getting the same question (or similar variants) for countless times since I've married: What's the difference as a married man?  My answer is almost similar... nothing different.  Life goes on as normal.  I still need to work.  I still take care of my wife (previously my gf).  I still take care of my parents.  So what is different?

Perhaps it is really the mentality.  U marry a person to love her and take care of her.  Although we still do quarrel now and then (admittedly, the frequency of quarrels or arguments remained almost the same after we married... see I said there's no difference in married life), I make a more conscientious effort then before to ensure that we make up as soon as possible (once I regain my "sanity").

Do not have doubts over your choice of partner.  You chose her with your eyes open.  You know everything about her, including all the bad points.  By signing on the piece of paper (marriage certificate), you take her in as a whole package, including all the bad points.  In fact... maybe you love her for exactly those things.

So what else has changed? E.g. She has to address my parents Pa, Ma now... well she is still deciding anyway.  Typically my wife's cute nature: she is still thinking of what is the best term to address my parents by.  I usually address my parents as 老爸老娘... too crude for my wife to address them that way I guess.

----------

The other day went for a Pri Sch class outing.  1 of the classmates reminded me that I said I wanted my wife to be a homemaker and asked me if it still stands after I got married.  Yes, I still prefer my wife to fully devote her time for the house and family.  Leave the working and earning for the family to me...

It's not i-Family time

It's not i-Family time

by Frances Ess todayonsunday@mediacorp.com.sg

04:45 AM Feb 26, 2012

The other day, while having tea at Ya Kun, I noticed their motto: "The toast that binds". Sitting next to our table was a typical family, two parents and two children. The mother, who was in her 40s, was playing Bakery Story on her iPhone. Her children meanwhile sat quietly waiting for their toast to be served.

When the food arrived, everyone ate in silence and at the end of the meal, everyone started to work their finger muscles by swiping their iPhones.

In modern Singapore where most parents have to work, sometimes having sit-down family dinners is a luxury. Yet on the few occasions when the family does find the opportunity to have dinner together, I have noticed the ubiquitous presence of the iPhone or iPad.

Some parents use the iPhone as a pseudo-sitter for their two- or three-year-old child. They justify this by explaining that it keeps their children quiet. Others claim that they must log onto Bakery Story or else all the bread they have baked online would have burnt. Some reason that they must be contactable 24/7 or they might miss out on an important contract if they do not answer every email.

Professor Philip Zimbardo, a psychologist at Stanford University, did a study recently and was worried that only one in five families sit down together. In America, they have also begun to discuss family values, and the professor said Americans cannot have family values if they do not even have family meals together.

But, in this i-generation of the iPhone, iPad and iPod, the purpose of a sit-down together is defeated if these devices of self-centred amusement (so aptly prefixed with 'I') become part of the family meal.

My family also finds it a challenge to eat together, as three of the older children are pursuing tertiary education and are seldom at home. So we would have late-night supper or early morning breakfast.

Sometimes friends and family join us, and one of the rules we firmly enforce is that these i-devices not be present at the table. I remember once requesting an acquaintance not to take any photos of the food - she had this irritating habit of stopping us from digging in when each dish was served because she insisted on uploading everything she ate onto Facebook.

Needless to say, we no longer share any meals, as she cannot eat if she does not post on Facebook and I will not eat if she does.

Imagine what it would be like having a meal without these i-devices. Our children might learn to see to others' needs instead of grabbing the food they like. They may learn to show respect to older members of the family as they wait their turn for the chicken, or invite their grandparents to eat.

Yes, they may fight over the otah, and that is where we can help them develop family values like sharing. They may even learn to have a decent conversation and hone their social skills.

During our family meals, the men and boys have to ensure that only after their mothers, sister and the youngest have taken their share, would they then take theirs. Some may say this is an archaic etiquette that is no longer relevant in this post-modern feminist era, but this is how we hope to produce gentlemen.

The girls, on their part, are expected to help prepare the meals, set the dishes and wash the plates alongside the boys. This is to ensure that the girls do not develop an entitlement attitude since the boys must let them pick first during the meal.

If we do not take steps to have proper family meals where there is laughter, interaction, exchange of news and information, I am afraid that all the effort to develop values in our children will fail, as we abdicate this vital function to the school, teachers and Ministry of Education.



Frances Ess is a mother of six.

《七十亿分之一》- 黄鸿升

若不是上帝睡著我不可能那麼幸运
能遇见地球上七十亿分之一的你
传说中每个人都拥有天上一颗星星的国度
都拥有一颗心的孤独
很多年才邂逅一个人
在宇宙连接成彼此的星座
----------

那么幸运才能遇见的那个人，绝不能轻易放手。

那些年,我们一起追的女孩

一部绝不可错过的好电影。

----------
【那些年，我們一起追的女孩】電影主題曲《那些年》
演唱：胡夏／作曲：木村充利／作詞：九把刀

又回到最初的起點
記憶中妳青澀的臉
我們終於來到了這一天
桌墊下的老照片
無數回憶連結
今天男孩要赴女孩最後的約

又回到最初的起點
呆呆地站在鏡子前
笨拙繫上紅色領帶的結
將頭髮梳成大人模樣
穿上一身帥氣西裝
等會兒見妳一定比想像美

好想再回到那些年的時光
回到教室座位前後　故意討妳溫柔的罵
黑板上排列組合　妳捨得解開嗎
誰與誰坐他又愛著她

那些年錯過的大雨
那些年錯過的愛情
好想擁抱妳　擁抱錯過的勇氣
曾經想征服全世界
到最後回首才發現
這世界滴滴點點全部都是妳

那些年錯過的大雨
那些年錯過的愛情
好想告訴妳　告訴妳我沒有忘記
那天晚上滿天星星
平行時空下的約定
再一次相遇我會緊緊抱著妳
緊緊抱著妳

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWzlwGVQ6_Q&feature=related
----------

你相信有平行時空吗？

Doraemon and Optimus Prime

Oops... Its been almost 6 mths since my last post... haha... no wonder Mrs Chua been nagging at me to blog... but well, after the fiasco with the last blog entry... it is also good to stay low for awhile.

Bought a Optimus Prime toy with the KFC meal the prev week. (U'll probably start to question What is this old man doing with a transformers toy?) Well... Let me try to explain... The transformers toy is to remind me to be able to "transform" myself (such as mood, attitude) to deal with all aspects of my work. Been reading a few books lately (spending my time reading on the way to work, esp after my psp got banned by Mrs Chua). So saw the need to be able to "transform" myself to deal with my work, esp when I personally think it is not a good job fit for me. Well... I always believe how u do anything is how u do everything... so no matter how much I feel unhappy about my work, I must always be able to turn my mood around to get things going. Oh yah... actually I don't know many characters from Transformers... so getting the leader of the good guys is perfectly correct... I'm a leader and I'm a good guy also right? =>

The same logic goes to why I have a Doraemon (cushion) (which my lao po bought for me) in my office. I want myself and my section to be like Doreamon, to come up with solutions to any problems that my "customer" has for me. No problem is a problem!

This reminds me... I also have a model car in my office which I place on my CPU unit. Again the reasoning is not difficult... I'll own a car of my own very soon!

Believe in the power of the subconscious, you can be the person you want to be.

JB trip 26 Dec

Went to JB with Van's family today... had some random thoughts along the way... so thought of blogging about it before I go to bed...

-------------------------------------

Was at the KTV. 1 of the girls played like a dozen Korean Pop songs. All of the songs she was just mouthing the lyrics, along with the audio. The MTVs played are the original MTVs which has only Korean lyrics... So not many Singaporeans will be able to appreciate the lyrics. The girl kept commenting that she only listen to Korean Pop nowadays. A question came into my mine... How do you "listen" to a Song whose lyrics are totally foreign to you? Unless you take the effort to google for the translation of the song, you're probably just listening to the music? Judging from the other comments such as "he's so cute" and "the dance moves so nice", I think the more likely description is that the kids (I mean kids as in probably she's not the only one, given the Korean Pop craze nowadays) "look" at the song.

I have always been listening mostly to Chinese Songs. While I do also sometimes focus on the particular singer's dance moves or the song's melody, the lyrics are always the most important to me. I always appreciate a good lyrics. That's why I can't appreciate English Songs, as my grasp of English is not strong enough for me to understand the lyrics by listening to it... And I definitely won't be able to appreciate Korean songs (or for that matter, Thai, Jap and African Songs all sounds foreign to me) then.

-------------------------------------

Had dinner at a kelong restaurant. Ok... Need to clarify on the statement. Me and some of the companions had dinner at the restaurant. Some of the other companions were "Iphoning" at the restaurant, who happened to be able to be able to squeeze out some time to multi-task by eating their dinner.

Nowadays, I always ask my close friends out for a meal. I always appreciate (and thankful) for the conversations we can have over the meal. I've always tried to minimize talking/smsing on the phone during such occasions, out of politeness for the friend(s). Lao Po also knows of this and have been refraining from smsing/calling me when I meet my friends (Thanks Lao Po), and she also tries to minimize such activities when she is with me.

-------------------------------------

Ok last part... I think it's good to encourage the young to work during their vacations. I learnt to appreciate money much better thru my various stints at temp/part time work. But then again... some just will never learn when they just need to ask/shout/request/insist/threaten for money from their parents.